cultivating me

is hard.  i not quite sure i how i ever healed my broken hearts and i surely don’t know how to heal another’s.  especially when it is my daughters. today i saw her broken heart as she looked for her good friend to say one last goodbye.  C moved here with her parents over the [...]

this post has been sitting in my drafts folder for a long time. i found it hard to write but even harder to post. in some ways, i guess it has to do with the part of me that finds it hard to believe that she is really gone. i am profoundly sad and i [...]

it’s cold and rainy today – very much a gloomy day. the weather matches my mood today i think. i normally like sunny days but i am glad that today is not one of them because a beautiful sunny day would not go well with my sorrow today – it would probably make me grumpy. [...]

i have never dealt with death well in my life. today is no different – i still cannot really handle the reality of a life coming to an end. i am hoping writing will allow me to get through what i cannot say in words. my neighbor, Mr. Stone, passed away because he suffered a [...]

it started out fabulous: my sweetie and i packed up our monkeys and headed out to the Navajo Reservation in Arizona for the Memorial Day weekend. the drive is long about 12 hours but the kids are great travelers and even without a DVD player to keep them entertained we made it there without whining, [...]

i went to visit my grandmother today. i try to see her every other week but honestly, i should see her more often. she is getting old. she’s 86, lives in an assisted living community, confined to a wheel chair and her memory is starting to go. she lives about one mile away and so [...]